I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
