its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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