so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
