Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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