Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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