Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
