Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
