He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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