I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize