walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
