i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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