my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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