I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
