haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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