I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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