a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
