I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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