For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
