you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
