now i know why i became what i already was.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
