He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
