He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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