have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
