Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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