I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
