whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize