So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize