You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
