I wish I could teleport
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
