Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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