And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
whose ass print is on the piano?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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