omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
