I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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