Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
