he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
