I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
