Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
