May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
