i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
