3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Bring me that man meat
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
