i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
