no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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