The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There's always time for handjobs
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
