Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
