I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
