Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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