xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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