I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
