the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize