Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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