I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just googled if crying burns calories
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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