I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
