We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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