Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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