I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
