Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
