Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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