the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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