A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
