U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
