They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
